James 1:12

I haven't written in a while. It's not because I am lazy, or haven't had ideas. It's because I was afraid. I was afraid that my thoughts sounded too negative, or that I sounded like I didn't appreciate the gift of motherhood. So, I waited. I waited it out. The truth is, I was going through a very difficult time. I never imagined that my baby would have "colic", or said another way, I never imagined that my baby would be a "hard baby". By nature, I am a fairly mellow person, so even though I had been warned that my husband had been a very fussy baby, I still dismissed the idea that MY baby would be fussy too. The first 7 weeks of sweet, baby Isaac's life were anything but easy. We had growth spurts, acid reflux, tummy problems, lots of throw up, and I mean LOTS, and a Pyloric Stenosis scare accompanied by an ultra sound, all the while with parents going through the pains of insomnia. I knew Isaac couldn't help it when his tummy hurt, but my head couldn't help pounding during his crying spells either. At one of the lowest points, you could have found me holding my screaming child in my arms, while I am bouncing on a yoga ball (in an attempt to unsuccessfully soothe him), all the while, tears are streaming down my face as well. At times, it seemed like the battle of the pains. Who could outlast who? We took every class on how to soothe your baby and there were many, many times when NONE of those measures worked. Talk about discouraging.  I am still amazed at how a 9lb human could have such a powerful, defeating affect on two grown ups. There is nothing more demoralizing than not being able to soothe your own flesh and blood. I can share this now, because I've seen the other side.  We have come out of the darkness and we now see the light and the reward is glorious. I don't know if his tummy started working better, maybe mommy started soothing better, maybe he simply matured, but for whatever the reason, Isaac is now the baby I knew he would be. He gazes at me, he smiles at me, he "talks" to me. I love him and I know he loves me.


"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." James 1:12